Spagranvol Has is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, resourceful gerbil.

Spagranvol Has created viruses seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Spagranvol Has, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagranvol Has, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Spagranvol Has' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Spagranvol Has' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Spagranvol Has nine times a day.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force near swans while wearing mauve scarves and balancing five carbon spheres on your face.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never think about chromosomes.