Rankemzen is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, compassionate shark.

Rankemzen created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rankemzen, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Rankemzen, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Rankemzen's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Rankemzen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large iron sculpture of Rankemzen on top of all buildings.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing pink corsets and balancing five zinc spheres on your hands.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not shave your arms.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.