Yogbatjig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, flying fairy.

Yogbatjig created the Tadpole Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yogbatjig, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Yogbatjig, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Yogbatjig's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Yogbatjig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near eagles while wearing white skirts.

3. Never think about dark energy near tapirs while wearing pink scarves and balancing three copper spheres on your neck.

4. Erect a giant violet sculpture of Yogbatjig in the centre of the settlement.

5. Pray towards the south.