Safflagmut is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, vain fairy.

Safflagmut created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safflagmut, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Safflagmut, she will remove you from existence.

Safflagmut's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Safflagmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of nematodes.

2. Do not hurt aardvarks.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Never talk about spacetime near mites while wearing red scarves and balancing seven copper spheres on your feet.