Vigdinzak is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, humorless swallow.

Vigdinzak created the Cigar Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Vigdinzak, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vigdinzak, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Vigdinzak's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vigdinzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Erect six titanium sculptures of Vigdinzak on top of important buildings.

3. Put Vigdinzak first in all things.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.