Lagrowsak is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, blissful crab.

Lagrowsak created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Lagrowsak, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Lagrowsak, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lagrowsak's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Lagrowsak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Lagrowsak.

3. Never wear coats.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never eat bananas.