Rapvenweg is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, effective badger.

Rapvenweg created a bottom quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rapvenweg, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Rapvenweg, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Rapvenweg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Rapvenweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never paint your neck cyan.

5. Respect your elders.