Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish ant.

Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig created a charm quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig, he will turn you into a puffin.

Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick eagles.

2. Sakgutqueeg Hubzakwig loves dogs, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Respect your elders.