Fitwattabflan Kimcankam is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, boastful cobra.

Fitwattabflan Kimcankam created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Fitwattabflan Kimcankam, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Fitwattabflan Kimcankam, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fitwattabflan Kimcankam's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Fitwattabflan Kimcankam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Erect eight silver sculptures of Fitwattabflan Kimcankam on top of important buildings.

3. Never eat strawberries.

4. Worship no other gods but Fitwattabflan Kimcankam.

5. Do not wear silicon on your body.