Nakmigbogshav is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, astonishing crab.

Nakmigbogshav created matter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nakmigbogshav, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nakmigbogshav, she will turn you into a tree.

Nakmigbogshav's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nakmigbogshav's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never think about thermodynamics.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Learn eight new languages a year.