Bumquatbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, temperamental lion.

Bumquatbeg created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Bumquatbeg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bumquatbeg, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bumquatbeg's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Bumquatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Always obey Bumquatbeg's priests.

3. Do not keep five grasshopers in a large pit.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Bumquatbeg loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.