Talmumarm is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, all-knowing hummingbird.

Talmumarm created an atom four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talmumarm, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Talmumarm, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Talmumarm's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Talmumarm's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Talmumarm four times a day.

2. You must love Talmumarm.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Never think ill of sick frogs.