Sismitrat is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, almighty wolf.

Sismitrat created the universe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sismitrat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sismitrat, it will turn you into a hamster.

Sismitrat's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Sismitrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Never eat onions.

3. Do not dye your hair mauve.

4. Always obey Sismitrat's priests.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.