Fitnutlarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, effective crow.

Fitnutlarp created silver five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnutlarp, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fitnutlarp, he will turn you into a rock.

Fitnutlarp's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fitnutlarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Never wear magenta shorts.

3. Never talk about turtles.

4. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

5. Fitnutlarp must be the most important thing in your life.