Pidstanhit is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving aardvark.

Pidstanhit created the universe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidstanhit, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pidstanhit, it will ignore you.

Pidstanhit's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Pidstanhit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry monkeys.

2. Never talk about optics near dogs while wearing blue rings and balancing five titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Put Pidstanhit first in all things.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.