Arndavzog is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, tiresome salamander.

Arndavzog created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arndavzog, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Arndavzog, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Arndavzog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Arndavzog's Holy Commandments

1. Arndavzog must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

3. Never wear red ear rings.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Arndavzog loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.