Rotpaknut is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, quiet parrot.

Rotpaknut created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rotpaknut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rotpaknut, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Rotpaknut's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Rotpaknut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick gulls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Rotpaknut loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

4. Hide from gray moths for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.