Stanfatmet is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, slow hare.

Stanfatmet created bats seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stanfatmet, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stanfatmet, it will turn you into a worm.

Stanfatmet's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Stanfatmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.

2. Hide if six monkeys approach from the east.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never think about dwarf planets.