Titzigneg is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, clever owl.

Titzigneg created the planet Saturn four billion years ago.

If you believe in Titzigneg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Titzigneg, she will turn you into a rock.

Titzigneg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Titzigneg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Titzigneg must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Always obey Titzigneg's priests.

5. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.