Bassgabbess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, annoying weasel.

Bassgabbess created Asia eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Bassgabbess, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bassgabbess, it will jump up and down on your head.

Bassgabbess' most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bassgabbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never feed turnips to snakes while wearing magenta stockings.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Bassgabbess.