Ontsaffat is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, duplicitous crab.

Ontsaffat created the Large Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontsaffat, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Ontsaffat, she will turn you into a rock.

Ontsaffat's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Ontsaffat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat apples.

5. Never paint your hands black.