Bitmapyik is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, caring faun.

Bitmapyik created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Bitmapyik, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bitmapyik, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Bitmapyik's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Bitmapyik's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white foxes, for they are unholy.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never talk about quantum field theory near tapirs while wearing violet ear rings.

5. Do not eat coconuts.