Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, overgenerous jellyfish.

Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim created Africa six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Do not take Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim's name in vain.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Erect seven lead sculptures of Jopvabmab Narllintal Bellfagbim on top of important buildings.

5. Never paint your legs magenta.