Danponyok is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, temperamental squid.

Danponyok created carbon two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Danponyok, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Danponyok, he will try to impress you with trees.

Danponyok's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Danponyok's Holy Commandments

1. Danponyok loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not hurt snakes.

3. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.