Hottalbig is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, grumpy unicorn.

Hottalbig created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hottalbig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hottalbig, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hottalbig's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Hottalbig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Porpoises are not to be trusted.

5. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.