Jamfignad is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, grumpy crocodile.

Jamfignad created everything that exists five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamfignad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jamfignad, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Jamfignad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Jamfignad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about black holes.

2. Never go into purple rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Always wear turquoise.