Larpyarlfat is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, ruthless ferret.

Larpyarlfat created snails eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larpyarlfat, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Larpyarlfat, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Larpyarlfat's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Larpyarlfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Hide from black horses for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.