Quamgeplik is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, unsympathetic turtle.

Quamgeplik created dark energy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quamgeplik, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Quamgeplik, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Quamgeplik's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Quamgeplik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Do not keep eight whales in a large pit.

4. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.