Monjiphom Veenmet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, able tapir.

Monjiphom Veenmet created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Monjiphom Veenmet, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Monjiphom Veenmet, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Monjiphom Veenmet's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Monjiphom Veenmet's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Badgers are not to be trusted.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force near dolphins while wearing turquoise shorts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your feet.