Tonknurlfarn is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonourable pigeon.

Tonknurlfarn created gold eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonknurlfarn, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tonknurlfarn, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tonknurlfarn's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Tonknurlfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

3. Never think about ultrasonics near monkeys while wearing black corsets and balancing six silicon spheres on your head.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics.