Nelllagfit is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, duplicitous monkey.

Nelllagfit created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelllagfit, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nelllagfit, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nelllagfit's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Nelllagfit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Never feed oranges to porpoises while wearing green corsets.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not covet oxen.