Pigarpfom is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, overgenerous wolf.

Pigarpfom created the Cigar Galaxy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigarpfom, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pigarpfom, it will refuse to believe in you.

Pigarpfom's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Pigarpfom's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Learn nine new languages a year.

4. Put Pigarpfom first in all things.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.