Stragbelltik is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ruthless raccoon.

Stragbelltik created Europe nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stragbelltik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Stragbelltik, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Stragbelltik's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Stragbelltik's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear indigo scarves.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never look at dwarf planets.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.