Lanwabcin is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, boastful dugong.

Lanwabcin created vertebrates two million years ago.

If you believe in Lanwabcin, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lanwabcin, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lanwabcin's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lanwabcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing yellow ear rings and balancing three titanium spheres on your head.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Never hurt tapirs.

4. Never jump near bats.

5. Never eat oranges.