Lamtadrandan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent lobster.

Lamtadrandan created the planet Venus three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamtadrandan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lamtadrandan, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Lamtadrandan's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lamtadrandan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.