Figmitfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, humane fly.

Figmitfoss created the Sun eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Figmitfoss, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Figmitfoss, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Figmitfoss' most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Figmitfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Run away if five dolphins approach from the north.

2. Do not trade with those who eat limes.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never write about bacteria.

5. Do not kill frogs.