Cipfetgess is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, witless eagle.

Cipfetgess created tapeworms two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipfetgess, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cipfetgess, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cipfetgess' most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Cipfetgess' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Learn three new languages a year.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cipfetgess.

4. Never talk about mice.

5. Never eat bark.