Venzakzak is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, all-knowing lizard.

Venzakzak created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venzakzak, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Venzakzak, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Venzakzak's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Venzakzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never talk about snails.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not eat bananas.

5. Never run near mice.