Hapsagnat is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, humorless fairy.

Hapsagnat created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapsagnat, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hapsagnat, he will turn you into a sheep.

Hapsagnat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hapsagnat's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

2. Do not hurt frogs.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not trade with those who eat bananas.

5. Goats are not to be trusted.