Fetmanbomjen is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, able whale.

Fetmanbomjen created matter eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetmanbomjen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fetmanbomjen, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Fetmanbomjen's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Fetmanbomjen's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention otters.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Do not dye your hair violet.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.