Wigsatnurt is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, witless alligator.

Wigsatnurt created the planet Mars three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wigsatnurt, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Wigsatnurt, he will turn you into a worm.

Wigsatnurt's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Wigsatnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not shave your arms.

3. Always help nematodes.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Wigsatnurt.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.