Stafcudrutt is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, awe-inspiring coyote.

Stafcudrutt created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafcudrutt, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Stafcudrutt, he will destroy your home solar system.

Stafcudrutt's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Stafcudrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Stafcudrutt's name in vain.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never write about quantum mechanics.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never feed lentils to gulls while wearing gray scarves.