Artgonbast is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, resourceful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Artgonbast created time and space two years ago.

If you believe in Artgonbast, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Artgonbast, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Artgonbast's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Artgonbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not keep nine aardvarks in a large pit.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never think about quantum gravity near dolphins while wearing yellow trousers and balancing seven lead spheres on your back.

5. Never write about nebulae.