Davtimhog is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate goblin.

Davtimhog created oxygen three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Davtimhog, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Davtimhog, she will turn you into a frog.

Davtimhog's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Davtimhog's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Feed all hungry pigs.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics near swans while wearing fawn shirts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your neck.

5. Pray towards the east.