Gessgilyimtonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, charitable cow.

Gessgilyimtonk created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Gessgilyimtonk, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gessgilyimtonk, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gessgilyimtonk's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gessgilyimtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt eagles.

2. Do not wear fawn clothing.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.