Dobbimcat is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic octopus.

Dobbimcat created Africa six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dobbimcat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dobbimcat, he will turn you into a dog.

Dobbimcat's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dobbimcat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not dye your hair magenta.

4. Never talk about dark energy near great tits while wearing turquoise shoes.

5. Do not chop down trees.