Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, sapient scorpion.

Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed created humankind two billion years ago.

If you believe in Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed, it will boil you in a big pot.

Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Ligjatfed Karcepxinfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near mites while wearing brown shirts and balancing four carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never talk about quantum mechanics near frogs while wearing fawn corsets.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not kill doves.