Karkargad is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, flying armadillo.

Karkargad created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karkargad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Karkargad, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Karkargad's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Karkargad's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Karkargad.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never eat bark.