Karmumfatved is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, slow spider.

Karmumfatved created the Sun six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Karmumfatved, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Karmumfatved, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Karmumfatved's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Karmumfatved's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

2. Never mention bats.

3. Run away from white mites, for they are unholy.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.