Lakjopvol is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless wombat.

Lakjopvol created Asia four million years ago.

If you believe in Lakjopvol, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Lakjopvol, she will not care at all.

Lakjopvol's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Lakjopvol's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nematodes.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lakjopvol.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Fast once a month.